Changes

For a long time I’ve felt like it was too late for me to change the kind of person I am. I may only be 26 years old (going on 27) but I felt like… I knew who I was and while I didn’t like it, there was nothing I could do to change it. I felt resigned to this version of myself that I hated, that made me feel guilty, tired, and hopeless.

I don’t think that anymore.

The past 50 days I’ve changed so much about my life. I’ve stopped eating fast food and stopped drinking pop. I got myself a fitbit and I’ve started tracking my movement, food intake, and sleep patterns. I’ve cleaned my entire apartment, and KEPT it clean. I’ve taken it upon myself to get out more, I went on a nature walk with my camera and took photos of nice things. I started a podcast with some friends about my favorite television show.

I’ve done so much in just 50 days, and I’ve never felt more proud of myself. Every day, I’m learning new things to cook, new ways to cook them, I’m burning food, and rightfully feeling disappointed but not letting it discourage me. I’ve met my daily step goal two days in a row now (I’ve only had my fitbit for a week haha) and I just… I’m happy.

It’s been a while, and I still have a long ways to go. I have at least 40 pounds to lose, I have a food palette to widen, I have to keep my apartment clean, and after summer is over I’ll have to do all of that PLUS balance a full schoolwork load.

But for the first time, I’m not scared of failing. If the past 50 days have shown me anything it’s that I am not weak, I have will power, and I can do it. Things aren’t going to be easy, but it IS possible. I can do it.

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