30 Days.

Addictions are hard, man… any and all types. It bugs me that people don’t see fast food/junk food/pop as things that have the ability to be addicting. People can genuinely get addicted to anything. I’ve been struggling a long time with food and eating. I am not the most skilled cook (to say the LEAST) and i rely of the fattiest foods for sustenance because they are cheap and easy. After a while it’s hard to quit those foods. It’s incredibly hard to change the way you live on a daily level. I used to eat nothing but fast food and drink nothing but pop(soda, whatever THIS ISNT THE POINT). But I felt like complete and utter shit because of it. I was dehydrated and malnourished and now I have digestion problems that i’m still currently trying to figure out what they are.

30 days ago I stopped eating fast food and 29 days ago I stopped drinking pop. I’ve felt better overall. Less sluggish, moving is easier, but I’m still not feeling 100%. I have a lot of heartburn problems, I can’t eat certain foods, or else I feel like my chest is literally on fire and I can’t sleep well sometimes because of it.

My whole life I’ve basically just eaten what was easy and what tastes good. Now at 26 I have to figure out what to do because my body hates what I’ve done to it. For as long as I can remember I’ve been ashamed of my body and weight, and it doesn’t help that all the extra weight makes me tired faster. My dad was diabetic, he died from kidney failure which was all due to him not taking care of himself.

I’ve tried many times to start treating my body better, but i’ve always felt it was impossible, that I could never do it because I’m an extremely picky eater and that there was never going to be anything healthy that I would like. All excuses to stop me from trying because I knew it would be so fucking hard.

It’s been a month. I’ve gone longer without fast food and pop before. My longest was 2 months. But tonight I made BBQ chicken tacos, and yesterday I made herb covered baked chicken and brown rice. I’m facing my fears of touching uncooked chicken, of not cooking chicken the right way?!!? of trying new fucking things. I’m doing this. And I will continue to do it. But I wanted to mark this down today, because these tacos are delicious, and all i had to do was put chicken in a slow cooker and forget about it for 5 hours while I did other things.

I’m proud of myself. And I just wanted to say that. For me. Or for anyone else struggling with eating. It’s hard, but we can do this. ♥

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